My Apology to Seed of Abraham Fellowship

I want to apologize to Seed of Abraham for my actions. I was in sin for 3 1/2 years with Gary Lambert, and as a result I have hurt so many people. I am so sorry. If I could go back and change these events, I would. I truly wish I could take away all the pain I have caused.

I was in an abusive marriage. I was wanting to leave, but I didn’t have the finances and I was afraid that I couldn’t biblically. I began texting with Gary Lambert, PhD. asking basic scriptural questions. He would text me at night from his office when he was alone working on things for Seed of Abraham. Sometimes he would call me when he was in his car. One day at Seed of Abraham Fellowship, Gary came up to me to tell me that when I needed him, he would be there. I thought that was odd because no one know what was going on at home. I hadn’t told anyone.

I decided to go to counseling with my ex husband. While my ex and I were at a counseling session, he became angry and verbally attacking and stormed out of the counseling office.  The counselor called DCF and made a well check report because she was worried that my daughter and I were in danger because I had disclosed to her about an event that had happened over a year before we came for counseling, that the Rockledge Police had responded to. They left a card on my door, and I was afraid, so I went to the Friday night fellowship dinner because I knew Gary would be there.

I sought council with Gary regarding my situation. I confided in him what was going on. Things that I still haven’t confided in other people. He was compassionate and supportive. He began texting me to make sure I was Ok. I would text Gary when my ex would do things and tell me I was crazy or wrong, and Gary would tell me it was Ok, I wasn’t wrong.

Gary told me about his marital relationship with Tina and how little she wanted him, and that he wanted to come see me. He came to my house on August 19th, 2017. He went out with the guys to Dunkin’ Donuts for a cup of coffee. Then he came to my house. He parked his truck across the main road at the apartment complex and called me to pick him up. We came back to my house and I asked him if he was sure, because I wasn’t. He said absolutely yes. He stayed for a little while after, but then he had to leave so that Tina wouldn’t get suspicious. He left. I took a shower, went to bed, confused, wishing I hadn’t done it. Thinking to myself, he’s a married man and I’m a married woman. I probably just got used. The next day, I didn’t hear from him at all. Usually he texted me during Tom’s message to say “good morning beautiful,” and see how I was. That Sunday, nothing. I thought he thought bad of me after we had sex and that he probably wouldn’t speak to me again and I thought that I was a horrible person for not saying no. When he texted me on Monday, I actually felt relieved. Maybe he wasn’t lying. Maybe he actually did have feelings for me.

Hurricane Irma came shortly after that. He sent his wife Tina to Tennessee with the rest of the family. While she was gone he would come over to my house every day I was home. One night while I was working an overnight in Orlando watching dementia patients who had been moved to a hotel on Disney property, he texted me and he said he was in love with me and that he didn’t know what to do. He also came over and tiled by my front door so that I could open and close it to repair the damage to the laminate floors caused by the hurricane.The night before Tina came home we met where the Valencia dock had been before hurricane Irma. He told me that no matter what he was always going to love me and that I was so beautiful, and special. That I wasn’t like anyone he had ever met. He said that even if circumstances changed, his love for me never would.

He would give me glances at the fellowship. Some admiring, and some desiring. It was difficult and confusing. Part of me wanted to be wanted. The other part of me wanted to stop. But every time I would start to pull away, He would tell me he loved me and he needed me. If he lost me, he didn’t know what he would do. He would be forced back into his box and alone. That him and I were so much alike, and that we understood each other. He would also say if people found out about us it would destroy him and everything he did for Yahweh that was good. That all of his work for God would amount to nothing.He said it would destroy the fellowship, and hurt all of our friends. He knew that I had a difficult time trusting Christian woman because of how judgmental they could be and he would confirm to me that they would judge me more than some of them already did. He confirmed to me that they already talked about me and judged me. But most of all, he knew I didn’t want to hurt Rose. I cried and told him many times that I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Especially Rose or Tina. He said we just had to be careful, and make sure no one found out, because they wouldn’t understand.

Gary began brushing his hand against me in the fellowship behind the counter, or deliberately when he would take something from me while setting up. He would also touch me and kiss me in the places like the back class room in the corner and in the storage closet in the back of the girls bathroom in the gym. Gary said he knew where all the blind spots were in the fellowship, because he installed all the cameras.

Gary would leave early in the mornings and tell Tina he had to go to Lowes or Home Depot to get things before going to the fellowship, but instead come and see me. After he would run out to home depot and buy something small, so that he would have a receipt alibi for Tina. Gary would show up at my house shortly after my roommate Kelly left for work while my daughter was still sleeping because he said he needed me. Other times Gary would sneak out of his house through the sliding glass door while Tina was sleeping to come see me. He would leave and then call me to pick him up at the end of his road.

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