Apology Page 3
Gary was my health care proxy and he handled everything for me. He spoke with the Dr.’s and counselors. By this time I had made Gary My health care proxy, and the executer of my will. He controlled the narrative.
They all started talking about moving to Michigan. Gary wanted me there. He wanted me to go up with his daughter and son in law and he would be up there once they sold his house. He said we would have to be extra careful up there because all eyes would be on us. At the same time my daughter in Michigan's marriage fell apart and she was in Michigan with my two grandchildren. I thought that meant I was supposed to go. So I went.
When I got to Michigan, I was still dealing with depression. While I was up there, Gary's daughter changed in the way she treated me. I was excluded from most things. Out of the months I was there, I was only invited to go to the store with them once, to Walmart. She spent three weeks at the end not speaking to me at all, walking out of the room when I came in, ignoring me when I said good morning or good night. I called one of my friends, who was a fellow co- worker, she called my former boss, and they called me, telling me to come back to Florida, that I have a job and a place to stay. I left the next day and went to a hotel for a few days until I was able to get my things from them and return to Florida.
While in Michigan, before I left, I shared with Gary what was going on and he kept telling me to stay calm, and it will get better when he gets there. He said Tina would be so busy with the girls that we would have plenty time to be together working on Torahville4kidz and be alone. He told me he loved me and he wanted me to be there. That he needed me in his life and couldn’t imagine life without me. He said he would be alone up there because Tina would basically be too busy with everyone else. I tried to stay for him, but I couldn’t. He said he really needed to stay a little longer to finish the work at the new fellowship because the $10,000 bonus Seed of Abraham was giving him would be needed for us to start Torahville4kidz.
When I got back to Florida, I told him I was sorry I couldn’t do it. He said it was O.K. We would work it out, but later he agreed I messed up by not staying, and we would have to find another way. We discussed the possibility of me buying a camper to live in, so when he needed a place to live while working on the new fellowship, I bought the camper so that he could stay in it and when he was done, I could use it. Later we talked about snow-birding up to Lachine, MI. We found a campground called beaver lake that had seasonal sites for $1500 for 5 months.
Gary stopped talking to me on Wednesday, February 10, 2021. I didn’t know why. He had spoken to me moments before leaving to go to am appointment with Tina. He told me how much he loved me, and couldn’t wait to see me that afternoon to help move Doc, and then all of a sudden, nothing. They then showed up and Gary didn’t speak a word to me, he didn’t even look at me. I helped move his son's stuff with them.
Thursday came, still no response. Only Tina responded from his phone, so I went out to the new fellowship to find out what was going.
When I arrived there, Gary wouldn’t come out of the camper and Tina came out. She acted like nothing was going on, but they were obviously moving, and she said they were moving out of the camper and in with their son because she wanted running water. I knew they were running. I asked her why they were hiding it from me. She wouldn’t answer and said she wasn’t going to talk to me when I was like that and when in the camper, and locked the door. I waited outside for a while to see if she was going to come back out, or if Gary would, but they didn’t. So I left.
I then went to my friends house and while I was there I got a phone call from a Dr. Saffrone Emerson asking me if I was ok and doing a well check, which I thought was highly inappropriate, unprofessional, and a possible violation of the HIPPA Act. I had no idea who she was or why she was calling me. She said she was Tina’s psychologist and that Tina had given her my number. She told me I needed to respect Tina’s boundaries and I asked what boundaries? I don’t know what’s going on and they have my camper and I need to know what’s going on with it. She said I needed to give them space to process things. I asked “process what?” I ask her if she was even a Christian and when she said “yes,” I said “then you should know Matthew 18. She got rude and nasty and hung up on me. I had her on speaker phone and neither my friend or I could believe it.
After the phone call, I went to Torahville and picked up my belongings with my friends. I had already lost things that are still, to this day, in Michigan. My friend and a handful of my co- workers came to help me. I had been paying $400 a month for space in the Torahville studio to store what belongings I had left and to set up my t-shirt stuff, since Gary was struggling to pay the rent.
After we got my belongings, We went to Chili’s even though I told them I wasn’t hungry and I got a phone call from friends in New Hampshire who called to check on me. They are the ones who informed me that Gary confessed to Tina that we had been together. The therapist had called them on Wednesday to inform them that Gary and I had an affair. Last time Gary had spoke to me, he had told me I was a wonderful wife, and how good I was to him, but now, I was an affair. A couple of times over a year and a half.
Most of what he was saying wasn’t true. Most of what he has continued to say isn’t true, or is a half truth.
All of a sudden it was like my entire world shattered. I had this beautiful impressionistic painting, painted on a very thin sheet of glass, and someone tapped it. Everything I though I could see was gone. A million shards of glass at my feet with nothing more than painted dots that now added up to nothing. The illusion of what it once was was gone, and I could no longer see what I had once painted in my mind.
I confessed everything to two women. One of them said that she and her husband would help me through it. She didn’t hate me like Gary and I thought she would. I was advised to give Gary the opportunity to come forward, and I did. I didn’t attend the baby shower I had planned for my former roommate, out of respect for them and to not cause contention. Gary and Tina attended as if nothing was going on, and Gary hadn’t come forward. Sunday came, again Gary and Tina attended church as if nothing was going on. I believe they wouldn’t have said anything, and Gary would not have resigned, if a call asking him to call Tom was not made to him. I contacted two elders. I confessed to them. Although a board member from Seed of Abraham later stated that I had not confessed, and had not followed Matthew 18, I had. The board is not the elders, I confessed to the chief elder, and the minister of Evangelism. The same board member said I shouldn’t speak about it to anyone, but it is my story.
Seed of Abraham waited a month after Gary’s resignation to announce why, allowing people to believe it was because he was moving to Michigan, and when they finally did, they were constitutionally vague and ask for prayer for Gary and Tina, and their family. Their failure to mention prayer for other parties involved created the idea that I was to blame. Everyone knew that I worked alongside Gary on everything. Seed of Abraham continues to minister to them. I am sure no announcement would have been made at all if I had gone away quietly.
Because Gary is still at Seed of Abraham and his family being ministered to, and rumors are going around, I look like I am the only guilty party. I look like I went after Tina’s husband. I never did. I l feel like I’ve been rejected by Seed of Abraham Fellowship. After a month, I called one of the ministers and told him exactly what I thought. It was after that call that they made the announcement. He has listened when I’ve called, and on one occasion even called to check on me, as a friend, not the church. But as a whole nothing. I have no fellowship. I was kicked out and ostracized.
Seed of Abraham announced that Gary’s employment would terminate after the completion of the new building construction. That was already the plan. Nothing changed. He still works at the Seed. He still attends church and is ministered to. He only had two more Saturdays to preach and Gary told me he didn’t really want to and that Tom had him so busy at the new fellowship and that he didn’t really have time to finish the parshat series that he wanted him to do either. They have fellowship and people to minister to them.
Gary was still on the website for months after, even though they were able to completely remove another minister within 24 hours of termination. Maybe because Gary's son is the tech guy at the church? But I was left with a scarlet letter. I am the one who gets to bear the brunt of it. I feel like the leadership has thrown it all onto me, because I am the one not there.
As for Gary, He leaves in a few weeks. He gets to start over. Gary has had relations with at least 3 other woman during his marriage. Myself and the two woman Gary himself told me about. Now he has the opportunity to go to Michigan and do it again.
Some people say, well he took down Torahville4kidz.org and now has no ministry. I don’t believe he ever had any intention of actually doing Torahville4kidz, Inc. Over the course of 4 years, I donated over $20,000, and many other people donated thousands of dollars, but not one video was ever produced.
It feels like I have been villainized throughout this. I don’t believe it is intentional, at least I hope not. I wish there was accountability. What happened to me wasn’t OK, and knowing that it has happened before to other women, I can’t sit quietly and let another woman go through the pain, I am going through. I know my part in it, and this isn’t to diminish my part, but I honestly and truly believed him, and I believed in him. Now, I don’t know who he is.
I know now, why most women in my situation don’t speak up, and some even blame God. Because the church usually shuns them, like they did me, and ministers to the man. The church believes the man. My heart breaks for them. Yet I knew I needed to speak up anyway. After living in darkness for so many years I needed to bring the darkness into the light. The lies and deceptions needed to be exposed to root it out and for the fellowship and families to heal.
Your Sister in Yahshua,
To read about Seed of Abraham Fellowships Tom Bradford from Torahclass.com and the Board of Directors response and actions, or inactions please click the button below
If you have been abused by the church, or you know someone who has been, please check out the links on the resources page.